I joined an online dating site.
It’s not going well.
Right in line with the offline men I seem to attract, the only guys who have shown any sort of interest are creepers, men who are as old as my father and those who show signs of being mentally unstable.
I know they say don’t judge a book by its cover but when homie has serial killer eyes, I judge.
1 Move to Kansas City
3.1 Miles in First 5K
3 TV Appearances
1 Backyard BBQ
2 Trips to Chicago
1 Trip to New Orleans
277 Instagram Photos
1 Blind Date
4 Trips to the Little Apple
1 Giant Pink Elephant
26 Birthday Candles
Basically beignets are like funnel cake donuts.
And I want to eat them everyday.
Related side note: New Orleans is awesome.
Poppy is my miniature dachshund. She is afraid of everything.
Mal is my roommate’s Chihuahua mix. He is afraid of nothing.
They are best friends.
Yesterday, the Dynamic Duo decided to reenact Homeward Bound by escaping out an (accidentally) ajar door, prancing down our street, taking a left, trotting one block south, crossing a busy street and continuing down the sidewalk to the neighborhood park to frolic in the grassy field… half a mile away.
I choose to believe that they insisted on the Buddy System and looked both ways before they crossed the street.
This whole ten minute ordeal shaved a good seven years off my life.
Dear Adorable New Coworker,
I want to apologize for my inadvertent flashing this afternoon. You see, wrap dresses and wind are mortal enemies, fighting each other to the bitter end. While they tell me you are in fact 20 years old, you look, maximum, 12 thus making me feel a little dirty.
Didn’t mean to scar you for life,
Add going to the Nelson Atkins Museum on a Saturday afternoon to the ever growing list of “Reasons I Love Living in Kansas City.”
The list also includes eating snowcones at the aptly named Miami Ice, going to the neighborhood drive-in for a midnight movie and backyard BBQs.
It’s been discussed before. I am not a runner and yet I somehow decided that signing up for a 5K was a good idea.
Turns out, it wasn’t so bad.