Ho ho holy cow, you are scary

4 Dec

The tradition of sitting on Santa’s lap at Christmas time is a strange one. We are told from the time we are old enough to roll over to not talk to strangers. And here we are, handed off to a man claiming to be a huge elf and told to tell him what we want in our stocking. Then he gives us candy. Isn’t that another one of those things we aren’t supposed to do?

I bring to you some classic Santa “love” moments.

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Dude, no wonder the kid is crying. Santa’s got a mean stink eye.

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Oh little chipmunk, you will learn. The reason Santa’s got that dead in the eyes, blistery red cheeked look is because he stayed out all night drinking vodka straight from the bottle.

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This one is my personal favorite. Santa looks like he is writing a ransom note in his head as he slowly backs out of the room… If you ever want to see sweet Lucy and little Billy again, you must bring three dozen cookies and a gallon of milk to the dark alleyway off of Pine. Don’t even think about getting the police involved!

Visit this website for lots more Santa Love.

P.S. WordPress spellchecker wanted to change Santa’s to Satan’s. Hmmmmm

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