Now Taking Applications

12 Jul

My first thought was, “Who let a duck into the building?!” when I heard the loud quaking sound outside my door last night at 11:30. Turns out, it wasn’t a duck but instead a fire alarm.

My second thought was, “The neighbors’ illegal grill on their deck has finally done us all in.”

Don’t worry. It was a false alarm. A false alarm that forced an all building evacuation, standing outside for 30 minutes, a gaggle of very attractive firefighters and me trying desperately to make gym shorts, a t-shirt and glasses cute.

Alas, the only male attention I got was from the awkward neighbor clad in his Dungeons and Dragons t-shirt and socks with sandals duo.

I must wear an invisible sign that reads “Only creepers, weirdos and freaks flirt with me… attractive men need not apply.”

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