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My Roommate, The Librarian

23 Apr

Text Conversation

Elena: Just met third roommate’s bf. I am still in sweats and was in the process of dragging a large sandwich and a huge bag of chips to my bedroom. I am awesome.

Me: That visual image is amazing!

Elena: I felt like a human Gollum. Weird, unattractive… running back to my cave with my preciouses

Me: Laughing so hard I can barely see to text this

We heart TJs

26 Jan

Text Conversation

Ashley: On a side note i found “healthy” gummy bears at trader joes so i ate a whole bag… trader joes is amazing

Me: I love you.

My friends are smart.

30 Mar

G-Chat Conversation

Brad:  this is very weird… but the handful of almonds i just ate smell like sharpie
me:  ummmm
you probably shouldn’t have eaten them
Brad:  some friend you are
me:  isn’t there arsenic in almonds… like once they go bad?
Brad:  psh

I’m Mean

18 Feb

While my parents are out of town, I’m staying out at their house making sure my sisters and the dogs stay out of trouble.

My dad’s dog, Elam, is … special.

Text conversation

Me: I just asked Elam, “Where’s Dad?” and now he’s running around upstairs like a crazy dog looking for you

Dad: : )

Me: This game will never get old

Mom may be going deaf.

23 Nov

Mom: “Your underwear is so hot?”

Baby Brother: “No, Mom. I said Carrie Underwood is so hot.”

GChat Poetry

19 Nov

After seeing 127 Hours

Me: you know, I like to gamble
Brad: live life on the edge
enjoy the view
look out for falling boulders
always bring quality pocketknife
Me :  new life motto
Brad:  not quite a haiku, but beautiful nonetheless

Your oxen has taken ill.

28 Oct

Brad: “I owe you money for my ticket, don’t I?”

Corrie: “Yes, you do.”

Me: “I traded clothes from my closet for my ticket. I bartered like it was the freakin’ Oregon Trail.”